Old Wounds
by SpikeFan4Life95
Summary: AU: The Sunnydale Hellmouth has been closed for five years now and Buffy and Dawn now reside in Cleveland, the location of one of the last active Hellmouths in North America. It all starts on Buffy's birthday, which isn't surprising considering her history with birthdays. Old wounds are opened, and Buffy's life is thrown into chaos. The question is - will she come out on top?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N**: As a note - I've borrowed some bits and pieces from the comics, but I'm not following the storyline at all. This is pretty much AU all the way through. It started out as a generally fluffy fic, but as with everything I write, I couldn't leave it at that. I have the next few chapters completed in advance, depending on the traffic I get to this is how soon I'll post them. I'm hoping to space it out a bit so I actually update this regularly. Reviews are always appreciated. :)

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The door to Buffy's room swung open quietly as Dawn snuck inside, a few presents in her arms. It was Buffy's birthday after-all. Sure, a full blown celebration was out of the question considering her not so pleasant past of birthdays, but that didn't mean she didn't get presents. Buffy was curled in a ball under her covers, a pillow clutched to her chest as she slept. Dawn had noticed this soon after they closed the Hellmouth, and it hadn't seemed to subside in the five years since then. Little sighs of contentment escaped Buffy's lips every once in a while and Dawn almost didn't want to wake her up, but Buffy would have to get up soon for work anyways and Dawn wanted to catch her before then.

"Psst, Buffy! Wake up!" Dawn poked at her sleeping form and she made an annoyed sound before turning away from Dawn. She rolled her eyes. Buffy was always grumpy when she woke up in the mornings now. "C'mon sleepyhead, it's your birthday!" Sighing, she placed the presents for Buffy on her end table and then jumped on her. Dawn had always been taller than Buffy, even when she was just a teenager, and now full grown at twenty-one, she would definitely be able to wake up the grumpy slayer.

"Dawn, what are you doing? I'm trying to sleep!" She complained and pushed at her sister until she scooted off her. Buffy rubbed blearily at her eyes, sat up, and glanced at the alarm clock beside her bed. It was an hour before she even had to wake up for work. "Don't you have classes to get to?" She asked, slightly irritated to be woken up.

"Yeah, in the afternoon," her sister replied as she reached across Buffy and deposited the presents in her lap. "Now open your presents birthday girl!" She exclaimed with a giddy grin. Buffy smiled despite herself and picked up one of the larger ones in her lap.

"I think you're more excited than I am," she replied with an amused grin while she unwrapped her present. She pulled out a gorgeous sweater in dark red. "Oh my gosh Dawn it's so pretty!" She exclaimed and clutched it to her chest. There was a pause. "You didn't steal it right?" She asked with a smirk, which caused Dawn to roll her eyes.

"I've been out of my klepto phase for a while, Buffy," she pointed out. It turned out that Dawn was amazing at buying presents. In total, Buffy received a sweater, a pair of boots, some moisturizer, a few books – Buffy had developed a taste for romantic novels since leaving Sunnydale -, a certificate for a massage at the local spa, and a couple pairs of jeans. "So – do you like everything?" Dawn asked with a hopeful gleam in her eyes.

"Of course! I take back all the times I called you an annoying brat!" She told her and hugged Dawn. This hug displaced one of the presents neither of them had seen and Buffy heard it tumble to the ground. She let go of Dawn and glanced down at it curiously. "You didn't tell me there was another one," Buffy commented as she reached over the side of the bed to pick it up. It was wrapped in shiny silver, different from the paper Dawn used.

"That's not from me. I found it outside this morning when I went to check the mail," Dawn replied with a shrug. "It has your name on it." Buffy felt dread as her fingers fiddled with the edge of the wrapping. She felt like opening this was going to change her life completely. It was a ridiculous notion, but she felt it all the same. "Well go on, open it," Dawn encouraged her, figuring the present was from one of the other slayers. Buffy took a deep breath and pulled off the silver paper. It was a box. There was no card or anything on it – no way to tell who it was from. Something was off, but there was only one way to find out what it was. She quickly pulled the lid off and glanced inside. What she saw there made her automatically toss the box across the room. Dawn jerked back in shock.

"What!? Was it that bad?" Dawn asked, honestly curious as to what would cause her sister to react so violently to it. Buffy just shook her head, wide-eyed from shock. How did that even exist anymore? It should be gone, lost forever. Dawn furrowed her brows at her sister's actions, but being her curious self she got up and walked across the room to pick up the box. When she did, she pulled out some type of amulet. It looked mildly familiar, but she couldn't place where she'd seen it last. "Okay, it's a necklace, so what?" She asked as she examined it. Buffy was watching her sister now, willing herself not to cry in front of her.

"Spike wore it, when he. . ." She trailed off and glanced down at her hands. She was twisting the material of her new sweater in her grip from distress. "What sort of sick joke is this?" She exclaimed with anger tinting her words now. Dawn's eyes widened and her mouth made an 'o' shape in surprise. She hadn't been there to see Spike sacrifice himself, which was probably good because she grieved for a long while afterwards anyways. She couldn't even begin to imagine how it affected Buffy. Well, she could in a way, but Buffy had been so busy after all that she hadn't really shown how much she missed Spike. Dawn could tell. Sometimes Buffy would get this faraway look in her eyes and she'd grow quiet and almost collapse in on herself before going back to normal strong Buffy. Dawn hadn't seen her sister this shaken up in a long time.

"I-I have no idea, but . . . how did they even get this? Y-you said it was lost in the Hellmouth when Spike . . . well you know," she didn't want to go into specifics and open up old wounds, but it looked like it was a bit too late for that. Buffy glanced distractedly at her clock.

"I need to get ready for work," she announced and picked out her clothes. She worked as a personal trainer now that she didn't need to train the new slayers. Faith and Giles had taken over that. Sure, she still frequently stopped by, but those two had it handled, and she had to pay the bills and help with Dawn's college costs. Buffy walked to the door to her bathroom in almost a daze, lost in thought. Before she closed the door behind her, she peeked out at her sister. "Thanks for the presents," she said before softly closing and locking the door. Dawn sighed and walked out of the room with the amulet dangling in one hand and her phone in the other. She was going to get to the bottom of this, and her first stop was Giles' place. He'd know what's up.


	2. Chapter 2

Buffy went through her morning routine on autopilot. She was completely consumed with not very pleasant memories. Even after all these years, she blamed herself for Spike's death. She had been the one to give him that damn amulet in the first place. Of course, there was some resentment towards Angel for giving the amulet to her, but it was mostly directed at herself. All this time, she'd thought it was for the greater good. They'd saved the world from being taken over by the armies of hell at least, and they'd weakened The First enough that it wouldn't be rearing its ugly head for a while, but that didn't stop her from feeling bad. It had been in that moment – with their burning hands clasped together – that she'd realized she did in fact love Spike. She'd never forget that moment, even if she lived well into old age.

_"I love you."_

_ "No you don't, but thanks for saying it."_

Normally Spike was so unbelievably accurate with other peoples' feelings, but that was the one instance in which he was wrong. She _did_ love him, but that was what killed him. Seeing the amulet again brought back every emotion she thought she was on her way to being able to think about without crying. Despite this, she felt the faint stirrings of hope in the pits of her stomach. She'd come back from the dead before, so why couldn't he? It was ridiculous for her thoughts to go to such places, so she shook her head and came back to reality. Quickly swiping away tears, she hurried up and finished getting ready.

Freshly showered, she was surprised to see that Dawn had left. She didn't have time to think about it though because if she didn't leave soon, she'd be late to work. Her car keys clutched in her hands – yes she'd finally learned to drive – she hurried out the door, her work bag slung over her shoulders. Buffy's long hair swung against her back in the ponytail she had it in as she tossed her bag into her black SUV and then climbed up into the front seat. "Happy birthday to me," she muttered to herself as she pulled out of the driveway and drove to work.

It had been just as terrible as she expected it to be. She'd never been a huge fan of birthdays, especially since she was twenty-seven now. She felt old. Sure, she didn't look it, but being the slayer left you feeling run down sometimes. All her co-workers wished her happy birthday and she had to put on her happy Buffy smile. By the end of her work day, her face hurt from forcing a smile all day. She just wanted to get home, curl in bed with one of her novels, and sleep. She couldn't do that though. Even with all the slayers in the world now, she couldn't just stop her patrols. It was a constant in her life, and she needed the stress relief. Cleveland had an active Hellmouth now – one of two in North America now that the Sunnydale one was properly sealed off – and that left for lots of work for them. They'd lost a few slayers since moving here, so Buffy liked to do sweeps to keep an eye on things.

Dawn was still gone when she got home, but that was normal. She knew she was alright because Dawn tended to text her while she was working so she could complain about her courses. Apparently English Comp was more boring than usual today. It was five p.m. so Buffy had time to fix herself something to eat real quick, dress and then head out for a few hours of slaying.

It was strange having to dress warmly for slayage. She'd been living in Cleveland a little over a year, but she still wasn't used to how cold it got at night. Buffy was bundled up in a jacket, boots, gloves, and a knit hat, and she was still cold. The freezing wind was a bitch on the exposed skin of her face and neck too. Moisturizing took on an entirely new and more serious meaning. Tonight was surprisingly slow. Ever since many of the slayers took up residence in Cleveland, the demonic population decided to either get the hell out of Dodge or they were long dead. There were always those idiots that didn't leave though – kinda like people that stayed at home despite repeated warnings about a hurricane. Buffy spotted a group of said idiots up ahead. They were vampires. She smirked. It had been far too long since she'd had an opportunity to really stretch her muscles.

"Hasn't anyone told you it's not good to eat this late? It'll go straight to your hips," she teased the vampires that had a young girl pinned to the wall. The one closest to her hissed and then leapt at her. He was clumsy though and Buffy made quick work of him. She ducked to dodge his attack and came around behind him, and before he could whirl around, she had a stake rammed into his heart from the back. Buffy yanked it back out and was immediately knocked in the head by an elbow towards her face. She grunted in pain and dropped to a crouch and did a sweeping kick in order to knock him off his feet. Something she'd learned from sparring with Spike and liked to use at every opportunity she had. The third vampire chose this time to drop their meal – who ran off once her feet hit the ground – and launch himself at the off-balanced slayer. He snapped his teeth at her, but she merely rolled her eyes despite the disadvantage she had. As she squirmed around underneath him, trying to get her stake in position, the vampire suddenly glanced up like he'd heard something. Wasting no time at all, Buffy head-butted him in the nose and flipped them over when he grabbed at his now bleeding nose. From her position, she quickly disposed of him, fanning dust away from her face.

Confused, she glanced around. _Where'd the third vampire go?_ She wondered when she heard a scuffle around the corner. She bolted, thinking the girl from earlier hadn't gotten completely away, but when she arrived, it was just in time to see dust falling and to hear the distant sound of boots against the concrete. "Hey!" She exclaimed and ran after where the footsteps were heading.

An hour of fruitless searching later and a discouraged Buffy headed back home, her cheeks and nose tinged pink from the cold. Pulling off her gloves and hat, she entered the house. It was quiet. Dawn was normally home by now. She felt panic well up in her and she frantically went to the kitchen only to discover a note on the counter. As she read it, her feeling of unease subsided. She was going to be at Giles' place late, but she made pasta before leaving the house. Dawn always was the better cook in the house considering Buffy's lack of culinary skills. She heated up a plate of food, changed into warm pajamas and then sat down in her favorite chair in the living room and ate her food while reading one of her new books. She was planning on a quiet night. With her empty plate on the end table, and the book in her lap, her eyes slowly drifted shut and she curled up on the chair and fell asleep.

A knock on the front door stirred her from her sleep. She groggily sat up and rubbed her eyes. It started out like it always does it seems. As she usual did in these dreams, Buffy wandered to the front door to open it. She knew how this dream worked; she'd been having them since the Hellmouth closed. At first, she'd thought they were prophetic dreams and that one of these days Spike was going to waltz back into her life with his signature swagger. After months of initial hoping but never any signs of him returning, she gave up the hope it was going to come true. Sleeping was enjoyable now. She used to be restless at night, but ever since the dreams started; she looked forward to sleeping. Buffy tugged open the front door, and even though she knew who was going to be on the other side, it still took her breath away. It left her in a little, surprised sigh and he smiled awkwardly at her. "Spike," she greeted in a surprised whisper. He smiled and scuffed his feet on the ground.

"Gonna invite me in?" He asked and she nodded.

"Spike, c-come in," she managed to get past the lump of emotion in her throat. As soon as he stepped over the threshold, her legs moved as if of their own accord and she rushed at him and wrapped her arms tightly around him. He tensed up at first, but then he returned the hug and rested his head on top of hers. "I missed you so much," she murmured against him, tears welling up in her eyes. He reached up and ran a hand through her hair. Suddenly, she stiffened. That never happened in the dream. It was always the same, why would it be different now? "A-are you real? Am I dreaming?" She asked, mostly to herself. Spike smirked and reached over to her upper arm and pinched it.

"Ow!" She exclaimed and jumped back from him, a hand pressed against her arm. Her eyes widened. So she wasn't dreaming . . . that meant . . . "You asshole! I thought you were dead! I grieved for you for five years! You think you can just walk back into my life like nothing happened!?" She yelled suddenly and shoved him away from her when he tried to reach for her.

"I can explain!" He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Should've known you'd react like this," he muttered, but held his hands up in surrender from the glare she sent his way. "It's a long story."

"I've got time. Dawn is over at Giles' tonight with the slayers," she replied and walked into the living room, assuming he was going to follow her. He did, trotting after her like a puppy with their tail between their legs. He had a lot of explaining to do, and he honestly didn't know how she'd react once he did. Only one way to do this. Spike sat on the edge of her coffee table while she sat in the chair and began his story.

"It all started in L.A . . ."


	3. Chapter 3

Dawn tapped her foot impatiently as she flipped through the book in front of her. "There's nothing here!" She exclaimed and slammed the book down – which caused Giles to visibly wince. "Are you even trying to find anything?" She asked in irritation. Giles hadn't even made an effort to help her this past hour. He just paced around, wiped at his glasses and muttered to himself. Dawn was finally starting to pick up on how weird he was being. "What's got you all twitchy and weird?" She asked him and he sighed. Placing his glasses back on, he turned and faced Dawn.

"I have a confession to make," he paused and put a little bit of distance between Dawn and himself. If she was anything like her sister . . . he almost grinned at the thought. "Spike is back. He has been for a long while, I just never told any of you." Giles trailed off, waiting for the inevitable explosion.

Dawn's mouth gaped open like a fish out of water for a few seconds before she shot out of her chair, knocking it backwards into the wall. "What!?" She all but screamed at him, red in the face. "Buffy has been absolutely miserable! She doesn't show it, but I know she is. How could you keep something like that from her? From me!?" Her voice was still raised, but it had calmed down slightly.

"Angel called me a few months after Spike disintegrated in the Hellmouth. I was wary since he'd become the leader of an evil law firm called Wolfram and Hart, but he told me that Spike was back. He made me promise not to tell any of you, so I obliged as a trade. I wouldn't tell Buffy that Spike was back in exchange for Angel using his resources to help track down slayers for us," Giles explained to her. If he was completely honest though, he thought it was better for Buffy to not have Spike in her life, or either vampire for that matter. He knew Angel would stay away, but Spike was a different matter entirely. The sudden appearance of the amulet at Buffy's place was worrisome. Somebody wanted her to know he was back, and he had the suspicion it was the very blonde vampire he wanted to keep away from Cleveland.

"I cannot believe you! I'm telling Buffy," she all but snarled at him and grabbed her things. She was already out the door by the time Giles was able to protest. He sighed and sank down into a chair, placing his head in his hands. He winced when the door slammed loudly and he heard the sound of Dawn's car roaring to life and tearing out of his driveway.

Faith poked her head into Giles' study. "What's got lil sis all in a tizzy? She all but ran me over in the hallway," she told him and walked inside the room. He just shook his head and Faith shrugged. "Alright. The girls and I are going out," he shot her a look, "_slaying_ – not partying, I'm too old for that shit gramps," she replied and left the room, yelling out for the slayers to grab their weapons because they were going on a hunt.

Dawn pulled into the driveway and noticed all the living room lights were on. Good, Buffy was home. She was so pissed at Giles. Why would he keep that from them? He saw how good Spike could be, how good he was! Dawn slammed her car door and stormed inside. She flung open the front door. "Buffy!" She yelled and turned to head into the living room. He jaw dropped at who was sitting across from her. "Spike . . ." she trailed off before squealing and running towards him. She hugged him fiercely and despite the current situation with Buffy, he chuckled.

"Looks like I can't call you Lil Bit anymore," he replied. She then pulled back from the hug.

"Oh yeah, about that," she said before slapping him upside the back of the head.

"Oi! What was that for!?" He asked and rubbed at the back of his head.

"Not telling us you've been alive – er well undead – this whole time. You're not the only one at fault here though," Dawn glanced towards Buffy, who nodded.

"Yeah I know. Angel was in on it too . . . and Giles," Buffy sighed. This wasn't the first time her Watcher had kept something important from her. Spike had filled her in on all that had happened up to the fight in L.A. before Dawn interrupted.

"So . . . you're staying now right?" Dawn asked with a hopeful gleam in her eyes. Spike shrugged.

"Suppose you'll have to ask big sis that," he turned his attention back to Buffy, staring at her as if they were the only two in the room. "If you want me gone it just takes one word and I'll leave," Spike admitted despite the fact that was the last thing he wanted. Buffy's eyes narrowed slightly because at that moment, Dawn was glancing at her with a pleading look in her eyes.

"Oh no, don't put this all on me," she complained. "I mean – do you want to leave?" She asked, her voice wavering slightly despite her efforts to appear neutral. Before Spike could reply Dawn groaned and threw her hands up in exasperation. Both Spike and Buffy shot her similar confused look and she sighed.

"I can't even handle you two right now! Just fuck already, sheesh!" She exclaimed and left the room. Mere seconds later she popped her head around the corner. "But – uh if you do decide to do that, I'll be at the library studying. Ya know – just in case." By this time Buffy was blushing and absolutely floored by Dawn's words. There was a sound of jingling keys, the front door opening and closing, Dawn's car driving away, then silence. It wasn't long before Spike broke it.

"Now that Dawns had her input . . ." he trailed off with a slight smile. Buffy laughed and shook her head. "Buffy, are you off your bird? I never _want_ to leave. I just wanna do what's best for you," he was about to say more when Buffy's entertained expression completely disappeared from her face and she nearly growled in frustration and shot up from her chair to pace the room. Spike shot her an odd look. He sure as hell wasn't expecting that.

"Everybody's always rushing to do what _they_ think is best for me. Angel, Giles, Xander, now you too? Of all people!? Couldn't you just have been your normal compulsive self and come see my when you came back?" Spike opened his mouth to say something, but she held up her hand and cut him off. "And don't pull that whole 'heroic death' bullshit. I don't care about that. I _loved_ you – still do even! You left me, like every guy does!" She was crying now as she yelled this. It wasn't common for her to break down, in fact it rarely happened, but everything had finally boiled over and she was an emotional wreck. At this point, Spike stood up and his hands hovered slightly in the air like he wanted to comfort her somehow, and apologize for how much he'd fucked up. "Can we – can we just pretend for a little bit?" She asked, tears staining her cheeks. He moved forward and placed his hands on her hips.

"What'd you have in mind?" He asked with a smirk that made it obvious he knew where this was heading. Buffy rolled her eyes.

"I think you can guess," she replied and wrapped her arms around his neck. He pulled her flush against him and she pressed her lips against his. They were cold, and soft, and tasted just how she remembered. Spike groaned and deepened the kiss, slipping his tongue into her mouth when she parted her lips for him. When he pulled away to let her catch her breath, she smiled at him. "This might just be the best Buffy birthday ever," she remarked, which caused Spike to shake his head and laugh.

"You're gonna jinx it now, luv," he replied, cupping her cheek with his palm.

"Guess you'll have to make sure I don't keep up with the talking then, huh?" Buffy responded with a wink and kissed Spike again. It looked like tonight was going to end a lot better than the dream version of this.


End file.
